Remember when celebrating Halloween meant having a carved pumpkin on the doorstep and a store-bought mask to greet young Trick or Treaters? Now, it’s a free-for-all for adults too and neighbors compete for the most ghoulish decorations. “It’s all in good fun,” we tell ourselves, but is it? (cue Vincent Price’s chilling laugh.) Are we distancing ourselves ever further from dealing with the inevitable or getting closer? Just South of the Border in Mexico, death is more festive and heartfelt in ritual as a link to loved ones lost. (Read more about the celebration in La Paz.) In the first days of November, they feel that the veil between the living and the dead is thinnest. Mexicans embrace that and it’s slowly making a mark in Dia de Muertos celebrations in North America too. For those of us who love to travel – what if our passion for crossing borders led straight into the worst travel crisis possible – death? How would you and your family deal with it?
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For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. ~ Khalil Gibran
Bear with my morbid but necessary tale…
For the sake of example, I was a young teenager vacationing with my parents in Mazatlan when death passed close. While hanging out with other teens by the pool, the oldest in our group jumped up as a commotion started nearby. A man had passed out and slipped into the water. Once he was dragged out, the boy started mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and the crowd thickened around them. When ambulance drivers arrived the drowned man was transported to the hospital. We later found out that he died on the way. It was a shock and I remember that day decades later. I still wonder about the dying man’s family, how would they deal with that worst travel crisis imaginable? How would I?
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
While looking for answers a book crossed my path and while often gruesome, it’s a wonderfully warped and clear-eyed look at the death industry and our complicity. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and Other Tales from the Crematorium by Caitlin Doughty is a wickedly good read and enlightening. (I do receive a minuscule fee that adds no cost if you purchase the book from my affiliate link.)Â The Guardian writes:
It’s become fashionable to complain that as a society we’re out of touch with death, but for the most part, that’s a good thing. We should celebrate our lack of acquaintance with the stench and the agony that, for much of human history, all too often accompanied the last days of life. Still, modern life permits a distance from death and dying that brings its own problems, not least a difficulty in accepting the inevitable, or being able to adequately grieve. Doughty is a trailblazer of a “death positive” movement…
The San Francisco Chronicle isn’t as positive, writing that “… the fear of dying warps our society” in their review. Author Doughty is genuinely drawn to facing death squarely. She relentlessly exposes her experiences while working within the death industry and touches on the way other societies deal with passing. We have much more control over end-of-life issues more than ever before if we choose to. It’s an especially fraught issue when a love of adventure and the worst travel crisis intersect.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. ~ Norman Cousins
Paranoia is a waste of energy, I tell myself. Travel is now easier than ever for many. It’s relatively affordable whether we cocoon on a cruise ship or backpack across the Andes. However, preparing well involves more than following best practices for packing light. Get travel insurance and make sure that end-of-life issues are settled before traipsing off across the world. Even if you’re just going across the state, you’ll relax knowing that things are in order.
What would you do?
In the 1980’s, my twentyish friend, Jaime and his girlfriend were exploring Thailand when he fell ill suddenly. Disabled by fever and weakness, he checked into a hospital while his girlfriend hovered near. Before returning home, he spent a month convalescing in the American Consulate. She had to make do while alone in a foreign country without a plan. The expense and worry were staggering. His expression as he told me the story haunt me still.
I’m in the planning stages of a trip to India and as with any extended trip, I’ll get travel insurance (see this earlier post for questions to ask yourself) but I’ve considered doing more. What would be involved in returning my remains home to California if the worst travel disaster happened? I’ve discovered that can be an extended ordeal in India.
Here’s how it begins if you die in an Indian hospital:
- You need to get clearance from hospital authorities. Which includes the death certificate in a specific format.
- If there’s a post-mortem you’ll need a disposal order certificate
- Arrange for immediate freezing in a mortuary once the hospital release is obtained.
- Set up transportation of the remains
Remember if you’re not traveling with family members (or even if you are,) this is just the beginning of an elaborate obstacle course. When coupled with long-distance worry and grief, it’s a horrible gauntlet. I’ve decided to formalize my end-of-life issues to include transporting remains. It’s taken a weight off my shoulders. Truthfully, the planning hatched after watching the incredibly fraught decisions that family members made recently. They were tormented by making choices as a group while still fresh with grief. That was after the relative had tried to plan well but left much open to question.
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. ~ Marcus Aurelius
Plan of action for the worst travel crisis
We don’t have to obsess over this or live in denial. Let’s get through it and onto traveling well through this adventure we call life. I know how busy we all are and I need the nudge to take care of this as much as anyone! I am not receiving any compensation from the following suggestions (with the exception of a minuscule Affiliate fee that adds no cost if you purchase the book from my link.)
- Make sure your trip is covered by health insurance. One company I travel with is World Nomads. You can sign up with them even if you’ve already left home.
- Set up a Living Will as a road-map for your care in case of hospitalization. An “Advance Directive” allows a person to state their end-of-life medical treatment and care. Living Will forms are available online.
- If you are incapacitated and can’t communicate your needs you would be well served by having a “Medical Power of Attorney.” The company Legal Zoom has a wealth of resources.
- There are also free forms available for download from AARP
- Read Smoke Gets In Your Eyes to help you decide about cremation or burial and what each entails, especially if you live in North America.
- When you choose cremation and want to lighten the worst travel disaster for your family and friends look for a plan that includes transportation and relocation of remains. I feel better planning my travels knowing that the final, potentially ginormous expense and all the traumatizing details are settled.
Even if you wear a seductive pirate-ghost costume for a party, death just isn’t sexy. Like taxes, there’s no escape so let’s just get on with it and get the necessities out of the way. Then we don’t have to fear to live fully before facing the worst travel crisis.
Please note this post includes affiliate links. They are for services that I use in my travels or books I’ve read and do not increase costs for you but will help this blog to continue. Thanks.
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What a fascinating topic! I do have an appreciation for those cultures that celebrate death. I for one am ready to go :-0 and have all my plans. The book sounds like an interesting read and I will have to check it out, I’m always curious about those types of cultural themes.
Good for you. I’m still slowly putting my papers in order. You’d enjoy the book. It’s a quick read too.
Thanks for addressing this incredibly important topic — something that anyone who travels needs to plan for . . . I think my most extensive Travel-Death preparation came before our family safari to Zambia, where my sister, my daughter, and I were all together. I re-wrote my will (I mean, what to do if ALL of us died together), tweaked my Living Will. And we sure has heck had BOTH travel insurance and Medical Evacuation Insurance — such a worthwhile and relatively inexpensive insurance that can save catastrophic costs. Anyway. I was glad to read your article. Thanks again for posting!
Thank you, Ann and how fortunate your family is to have been covered by your care. Glad you found this helpful.
It is pretty frightening to think about the worst case scenario. But it is good to be prepared for that, just in case. Speaking of that, we don’t have a living will so my first homework is to have that in place!
One step at a time. I feel much better traveling and knowing that I’ve done what I can in case anything happens.
This is a helpful reminder not to overlook things. I always take out travel insurance to cover such costs.
Travel insurance is a big step and covers most emergencies.
Hmm very interesting post. And honestly not something I’ve ever given much thought to because, ya know, I’d be dead and all. But this is actually making me think of my favorite TV show Lost, when Jack is on the airplane because he’s bringing back his father’s body (idk if you’ve ever seen Lost… you definitely should). Now I’m going to have to do some investigating and see what my current will is and what my health insurance covers!
I was addicted to Lost and hadn’t thought of the connection but there it is!! Glad to have helped remind you of some important issues.
This is a morbid topic, but it certainly happens. Death can happen anywhere, any time, so naturally, it might happen, too, during travel. I appreciate the book reco. I’ve read a couple of other books on trips that became fatal and now I want to read this one, too. Hopefully we’ll all enjoy safe trips — but it’s not something we can count on. For sure.
Yes, I suppose it is morbid but I felt necessary. The book isn’t so much about travel and tragedy but about the death industry in the US from the inside looking out. I just wanted to know more since I hadn’t been prepared for my parent’s death and then have some very elderly relatives. Also, I don’t want to be a burden should there be an injury or the worst.
Ha, I’m going to India in January! I’ll try not to die there. When will you be there and which regions? I need to start planning my trip probably haha. It’s definitely smart to be prepared and love that you decided to cover this morbid but important topic.
We’ll be ok in India, I just wanted to give an example of some issues. I’m looking forward to going with Purposeful Nomads and just following their expertise.
I was looking into my health insurance plan, and it looks like I get all the necessary health care needs should I need assistance overseas. I DEFINITELY need to get my Will in place, and then a power of attorney for all the other issues that can come up when you pass. The one thing that I don’t have covered by insurance is the repatriation and how your body is handled when you pass away. This can cost anywhere from 10,000-20,000 dollars to get your body back to your family. If you don’t care about your remains have a place to occupy, then I guess it doesn’t matter really, your dead, so why would you care. Anyway, that was surprising to me that it is the one thing that isn’t covered, so I’m doing a lot of personal investigation into this as well.
I’m so glad to hear that this post has resonated. It’s kinda shocking with all the travel some of us do, that we don’t have more in place. (reminding myself to tie up the loose ends for my family too…)
My travel insurance policy will transport the body home no matter where you are, but you also offered great tips beyond the security of insurance especially if major illness strikes. Excellent article.
Thanks, Marilyn. Glad you didn’t find this too extreme and morbid. Always looking to help.
As a kid who wasn’t allowed to Trick or Treat growing up (long story, but we went to fall festivals instead), I love that Halloween is okay for adults now since that’s what I am. Maybe not so much the trick or treating part (except for Mickey’s Halloween Party which I enjoyed-thankfully he doesn’t discriminate), but parties and events, etc. But getting into your question about have I ever thought about the inevitable when crossing a border? I think I’ve always been aware it could happen but have not put any serious thought into it even after reading countless stories where it has unfortunately happened. I haven’t ever thought about what would happen after the worst happened and the steps to take in India is an eye opener! On a positive note, I absolutely love the Norman Cousins and Marcus Aurelius quotes…oh my goodness I need to repost those!
Thanks, Heather. Glad that you’re getting your fill of Halloween fun now. Glad too that you liked the quotes. They inspire me too.
Your “how to die in an Indian hospital” reminded me of a diving trip to Mexico that went south. We went with my my kids when they were 5 & 7, my ex wife, and a group of friends, including Robert. We drove down to Kino Bay and all stayed in a beach condo there. Robert drowned while diving with a friend (not us) and we were all traumatized. Little Dreya (now 20) is just now getting over it and got open water certified in Thailand over the summer. I got my scuba certification a couple years ago as well so we are making progress but that’s not the point of this story.
Robert was a Peruvian national so we couldn’t just weekend with Bernie him back up to the US. There was a lot of paperwork involved and there was also no refrigeration in Kino so the clock was ticking. We did have a native Spanish speaker on the trip and he eventually worked everything out and arranged transport for Robert back to Tucson. The process was not at all intuitive or easy. It’s a very real situation and, without a common language and much perseverance, Robert would have been cremated in Kino.
How incredibly sad and you make some really good points – how necessary it is to have a translator when tragedy hits in a foreign country as well as how long it can take for the trauma to heal. Thanks for the thoughtful comment as always.
Pretty darn morbid post, but good advice nonetheless. A good reminder that I need to update my will and end of life instructions. Thanks.
There’s just no way to sugar coat the topic! I’ve been waiting till the Halloween / Dia de Muertos time to address these issues. Glad you are taking care of those final forms. Always enjoy seeing your travels.
It’s always nice to travel with travel insurance. Since I’ve started traveling abroad, I make sure I buy travel insurance beforehand. You’ll never know what’s gonna happen along the way! Travel insurance is one of the best investments in travels! Saves the ass!
Definitely travel insurance can make a dire situation a lot easier. I need to renew my yearly!
With the amount that I travel, you’d think I would have thought of all of this by now. Whoops! Thank you for the reminder to prepare for all possibilities and to make sure everything is taken care of should the worst case scenario occur. Knocking on wood we all return home safely!
We love to travel so much and it’s complicated enough, so missing these points is understandable but not inevitable. Let’s stay safe out there, nevertheless.
Great reminder to plan for the inevitable. Facing death is a lingering question that I think about, no matter how difficult, when planning long trips, regardless of the destination. Fortunately, we always buy insurance. Though the question about the hospital conditions in certain destinations is worth thinking about. I don’t let it define my choices or influence my travel destinations…because as you said…we’ve got to get on with living.”
Thanks, Rosemary. I would never think about setting a destination by medical care unless I had a condition that warranted it. For the most part I’ve found many other countries have tremendous and affordable health care that makes coming home to the US for procedures a little less alluring!!
I can’t imagine going through serious health ordeals during travels. I mostly travel with my parents or a friend who has T1D and before any other bag, my bag of meds, permissions, emergency contacts and insurance papers is ready. God. But hey on a lighter note, take vaccines from here, drink bottled water and have a good medical insurance and you will be fine in India. 🙂
Thanks. I’m really excited about traveling to India finally. I also hear that eating the local yogurt is a big help. Seems the older I get the more all those meds and herbs are a big part of packing!
An interesting post. I liked your point about the fact that we have control over our end of life … if we choose. My friends and family sometimes roll their eyes when we re-send them our “in case of death” letter. And send them texts as we move safely from spot to spot. And we never travel without good medical insurance. I am sure being sick in a foreign place is so much worse than being able to get taken back home. We carry “medical power of attorney” forms with us to ensure each other can take care of medical decisions. But I am sure it would be much harder if both of us got in trouble!
Great points, Linda and it sounds like you have set up things well, regardless of what others reaction may be. My son does the same when I inform him of my travel plans but hopefully he’ll keep me posted on his one day too.
The problem not resolved here is what will happen if the one who holds your medical power of attorney will nowhere be near when the most tragic travel crisis happens to you!
Power of attorney only goes into action for pre-death medical emergencies. Thanks for getting me to verify that.
I see. And upon death, your legal heirs take over.
Actually you are incorrect on that, Elaine. At least in Canada, a general power of attorney has given me the authority to act on my husband’s behalf in any case that he is no longer able to do so for himself. And that has come into play now as he has dementia. but thanks for this very thought-provoking post. Things that all of us as travellers must consider.
Thank you for the comment, Doreen. So sorry about your husband’s dementia. It’s a lot to deal with and I hope as a caretaker you have strong support nearby. We just never know what the future holds.
I really need to be more conscious of this possibility… I don’t even buy travel insurance. There’s really no excuse, sounds super easy to at least download and complete the forms to carry with me.
There’s an expense in adding travel insurance and the time in finding a plan that does what you want but so much can be saved in cost and worry for the effort.
Wow, this really hits home a bit. I had pondered issues such as choosing destinations based on medical services available, but got slammed when I asked that question on social media. How dare someone’s travel adventures be hindered by such constraint! Like you said, lets just get on with it. Definitely a good idea to be prepared, though. As an ex-medical person I also know that quality of care and emergency services can be a factor in ‘some countries’, so it is especially wise to be prepared to get to better medical services if necessary and if it is an option; airlift, etc… Hopefully one can at least increase the odds of having a worst case scenario, travel crisis. Interesting read and thanks for the info!
Thanks, Vanessa. Sorry to hear that you got slammed. People get triggered emotionally over the whole idea of planning for contingencies. I just want to avoid regret should anything happen and certainly not have my wanderlust traumatize my survivors any more than a travel crisis would already. So glad you found this helpful.
If you had to die while travelling, they say the best place to die is on a cruise ship! Apparently, it’s quite common for people to die while cruising. So, cruise companies have the freezing facilities and process to handle it when it doest happen. Anyway, I’ll certainly try to make sure I don’t die in India!
I haven’t heard about cruise ship preparations but it sounds like a good practice and smart with so many elderly passengers. India is full of blessings and I’m easier about going with the knowledge that should the worst happen there is a phone number my family can call and everything will be managed.