Did you grow up traveling to exotic lands? What inspired you to travel?
How did you become enamored with Indian culture?
I learned Transcendental Meditation when I was in college, and since Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the founder of the TM movement, was from India and there were other Indians around, I got exposed to the culture and was charmed by it. I had long wanted to visit the Himalayas, though it was many years before I was able to do so.
From the first time I came to India, I felt at home with the culture. In some ways, I feel more at home in India than I do in the US. I love the people here. And India is one of the most fascinating places in the world.
What do you mean by ‘fearless travel’?
Good question. Being fearless in this context means freedom from that useless kind of fear of something that hasn’t happened and probably won’t happen; the kind of fear that holds us back for no reason, that keeps us from traveling and doing the things we’d like to do. Knowledge is the best weapon against this kind of fear and that’s what this book is about.
What are some of the differences between Indian and Western men in relation to women?
That’s a pretty complex question. Generally, there is a lot more separation between the sexes in India than in the West. Indian men are taught to keep their distance from women they aren’t related to or married to. Western women, however, are often considered to be different, especially since we are much more open to being friendly to men we don’t know or have just met. It’s also because many Indians are seriously misinformed about Western women because of the media. For the majority of men, all they know about us is what they see in the movies, too many of which portray us as ready and eager sex objects.
How important is dress when you travel in India?
It’s really important because it has everything to do with respect for the culture as well as respect you receive from those you meet. Respect is one of the most important factors of Indian culture. If you are respectful of others and you look like a person deserving respect, you are less likely to be harassed.
Indians attach considerable importance to dress, but having clothes that are neat and clean and sufficiently modest are the most important things. I usually wear a fairly long kurta over straight pants.
To my surprise, I’ve had two or three Indian men come up to me at one time or another and thank me for dressing so modestly! Someone else recently told me she had a similar experience.
So what’s the best way to dress for safe travels?
Although I recommend trying some Indian clothes if for no other reason than they are usually far more comfortable than Western ones, it’s by no means a requirement. It’s fine to wear Western clothes, but it’s important to wear them in a way that honours the local standards of modesty. While that varies in different places, there are some general guidelines that I’ve described in my book so you don’t have to rethink it all the time. Otherwise, you would need to pay attention to what the majority of the locals wear in any given place, not what the tourists wear. There can be a huge, huge difference, especially in places like Goa, where you may see foreigners in bikinis side by side with Indian women swimming fully dressed.
Like travel experts everywhere, I advise people not to dress like a tourist.
Avoid the souvenir t-shirts and hats and bags, as well as those cheap clothes that are designed solely for the tourist market that Indians almost never wear. Keep your eyes open and you will soon see what I mean.
We all know that men should behave themselves and control their wayward impulses, but it’s obvious that many men everywhere in the world simply don’t—and they come up with all sorts of specious excuses for their bad behavior. That’s why we have to be proactive about protecting ourselves.
My book is all about safety. It’s not a handbook for activists who want to change the culture. And it’s not for outsiders to impose change, anyway. But I have to mention that although some women undoubtedly feel oppressed by having to cover up completely, it’s important to understand that not all women are desirous of wearing Western clothes, especially revealing ones like shorts and bikinis and miniskirts. Many women feel empowered by covering up rather than by uncovering. It’s important to honor and accept the cultural differences. There is no one ‘right’ culture, and the idea that every woman should be able to wear anything she wants anywhere is not a universal.
Is it different to travel in one area or Indian city over another?
It’s not like there is a single, homogeneous culture in India. In fact, India has the most diversified culture of any country in the world. There are around 125 different languages, and each one has cultural differences associated with it, some of which are pretty extreme. One of the biggest challenges about writing my books has been finding the commonalities that apply to most of those cultures.
It is said that whatever you can say about India, the opposite is also. But still, it’s possible to generalize to a certain extent. Most of India is quite conservative, though more so in rural areas than cities. Delhi and Mumbai are cities that encompass the whole range of values and behaviours because people come there from all over. The South is generally much more relaxed than the North. And there are parts of India that are under Indian rule but much different than the rest of the country, like Ladakh, whose culture is more Tibetan than Indian. Although the culture is different, there are similarities; while the style of dress is different, it’s no less modest than other parts of India.
What do western women need to know about eye contact with men in India?
In general, it’s best to avoid eye contact with Indian men. It’s usually regarded as flirting, which is seen as an open invitation to intimacy. In other words, unless you want to end up in bed with a guy, it’s best to refrain from flirting with him.
You have a chapter on Crowdsourcing but you mean something far different than raising funds for travel.
I discuss crowdsourcing as reaching out to people around you for help if you are being harassed. Of course, since there is so much variability in the culture and in any given situation, there’s no one right answer. For instance, in a situation where some guy gropes you on a crowded bus, one way to handle it is to loudly call him out to make sure everyone knows what he’s up to, like: “Hey, you in the red shirt, get your hands off me!” While you might be tempted to respond physically, it’s often not the best way to handle it. And if you specifically need help, single someone out for it, don’t just ask in a general way.
Would you recommend a solo woman traveler go to India now?
Absolutely! There are plenty of fear mongers in the world who would advise women not to go, but they have a strong tendency to be overcautious. I have been in places with US State Department warnings in effect and found nothing to justify them. You need to talk to locals to find out what the situation really is in any given place. Maybe there was some isolated incident that triggered the warnings.
Being careful and avoiding known trouble spots is important to insure safe travels, but that’s true anywhere.
By known trouble spots, I don’t mean, say, Delhi or Mumbai, which are huge cities where you can certainly find trouble if you decide to throw caution to the winds. I’m referring to areas where there is a lot of unrest and conflict. For instance, Srinagar and certain other parts of Kashmir are not at the moment the most peaceful places to visit, and the general state of unrest could put one at risk.
Occasionally, you will read some report about a tourist who was raped in India. The odds of getting assaulted back home (in the US) are actually far, far higher.
There are several every year, and they all make the headlines in a big way. They are terrible incidents, yes, but what no one thinks about is the fact that considering the number of women wandering around India at any given time, there are relatively very few. The odds of getting assaulted back home (in the US) are actually far, far higher. In any case, I make a point of keeping up with the news, I’ve found that the majority of those attacks could have been avoided with a little more knowledge, forethought and alertness. I’m certainly not blaming the victims. But every female needs to know how to avoid risky situations for safe travels. We all need to understand what constitutes a risky situation, and we also need to know what to do if we find ourselves in a tough spot despite our best efforts.
There are places in India that are amazingly safe. I’m currently living in a remote village in the Himalayas that is so safe that I can walk home alone at night on a deserted road with no fear. At least, there is no need to worry about being bothered by people, as the men here tend to be very well behaved, although leopards and packs of dogs could be a concern.
It’s really no more difficult to have safe travels in India than anywhere else. It requires knowledge and alertness.
Knowledge is empowering, which is why I’d like to see every woman traveling to India reading my book. Share this pin and help your fellow travelers!
“Travel Fearlessly in India, What Every Woman Should Know About Personal Safety” is a remarkably comprehensive, sensible, and astute book that’s packed full of perceptive information, tips and strategies. It covers everything from the mindsets of Indian men and how they conduct themselves to what you need to do if you have to go to the police. It’s a book every female should read, and reread, before traveling to India. — Sharell Cook, India Travel Expert.
Follow JD’s travels (and her insights about the currency crisis in India this November) on her blog, Enjoying India.
I hope you found this interview helpful and will share your thoughts in the comments below. Also, share this pin and help your sister travelers!
As a woman who (most of the times) travel with someone, this inspire me to travel alone! And India is also in my bucket list! Thank you for the tips!
True for me too. I imagine the only way I’ll get there is solo too.
This was a very interesting interview. I traveled to India once, but it was a business trip and I only traveled with colleagues when away from the hotel. JD’s advice on dressing with respect to the culture is excellent. I would definitely read her book before making a return visit to India.
How wonderful that you were able to visit India, business or no.
Thx for sharing this interview, Elaine. Somehow, India does not have a pull on me. Perhaps one day I will visit, but it is not a country that intrigues me.
Ahh, Doreen, if they had chocolate you’d be all over India! (me too)
This couldn’t have come at a better time. I was just talking to a girlfriend of mine about how I’d love to visit India one day but I was hesitant because of safety reasons. I would most likely go by myself, so safety is one of my main concerns.
So glad you read this. I hope more women planning their 2017 travels can benefit from JD’s insights. Stay safe!
I agree Vicky. A little different for me because I have family in India but it’s on my list to go to in the next few years. I’ve only been once when I was little so have been itching to go now that I could understand and appreciate the good and bad more. Great post Elaine.
Thank you, Alyssa. How wonderful to have family in India to visit. I’m glad you found the post helpful.
“For the majority of men, all they know about us is what they see in the movies, too many of which portray us as ready and eager sex objects.” Yikes! Great read though, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I think this is important for so many women to read before traveling to India! Happy travels 🙂
It is a chilling quote. I’m so happy to share this information especially if it helps one of us at least.
I love these tips, I’m looking at how I dress from a different point of view now. I wouldn’t have known not to look a man in the eye, thank you!
Cultural norms are a big help when traveling. I hate sticking out looking like a tourist but also am sensitive to cultural appropriation. Would’be been uncomfortable dressing in Indian style before I talked with JD. I love the fabrics and styles, so now I know!
Good and bad elements co-exist in every part of the world and India is no exception. Before I fly to middle-east people go crazy saying that it’s not safe to travel here. But hey! I’m enjoying Israel so much that I’m having a hard time to leave.
The same with India, much of what we read online is exaggerated or fabricated. I have a lot of friends from India. The country is safe and tourist friendly. I’m excited to visit India. Hopefully, soon!
I’ll be going to Israel next year solo and am happy to hear of your experiences. Glad you found the India post helpful.
Fantastic interview. I might be headed to India soon so this is good to know and to help ease my mind!
I’m so happy that this helped to ease your mind about traveling to India. Enjoy yourself.
I hope to get there soon. I never thought about being worried traveling around though.
You’re so comfortable scooting around New York and the East Coast. Those street smarts will serve you well anywhere you go!
Thank you for this post! Thank you because you and JD Viharini made me feel less alone. Since when she told you about the construction of useless fears holdin us back from living, I’ve nodded and said “true! at every single concept! I’ll read it over again every now and then!
So happy to hear that, Sabrina. Go forth, fearlessly, sister!
This was a fantastic read. It was a well conceived article with useful information and side stepped a lot of the controversial pitfalls. Thank you very much for sharing it. I think it would behoove travelers everywhere to be cognizant of the local traditions and to make an effort to comply. If nothing else, it adds depth to the trip experience.
So agree with you about complying with local traditions. I’ve seen the difference it can make over the decades of travel I’ve been fortunate to have made. Anything that can help to connect with the people and culture is ok in my book and I don’t travel to cultures where that might be a problem for me. Knowledge is powerful isn’t it?!
I’ve heard mixed reviews about the value of those women-only subway and train cars India.
I haven’t heard much about those but will look for reports. It’s hard to think of living in separate communities and transportation, but if it helps one woman get home safely, it’s worth the effort.
I enjoyed reading this interview. I know lately there are a lot of rumours and fears about women travelling in India but it is always great to know experience from someone who has actually been to India and does understand what is to accept and respect the local culture. Thanks for this post!
JD has been living in India off and on for two decades. Her insights as an American born woman are powerful. I’m glad you found them helpful and respectful.
Great tip on dressing. It is always shocking when I see western tourists wearing inappropriate clothing at a mosque, or church, or temple. They stand out instantly, and all it takes is about 5 minutes of research to figure out how to dress respectfully. Also, as you note, dressing more respectfully to the local culture means you instantly become less of a target, than the more obvious tourists. I must say though, hadn’t heard about eye contact situation in India, so that’s good to know.
True insights, Drew. I’m amazed at how Americans dress to go to the grocery store, let alone travel to another country. We’re lucky to have experience and know a bit more on how to stay safe and comfortable. Love your videos too.
Great write up- it’s important to remember that when it comes to things like dress, just because you don’t necessarily agree with it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t abide by the customs! Respect is key when visiting other countries.
Thanks, Tamara. You make a good point about not agreeing with local customs. I usually stay out of countries where that may happen but given an opportunity, I’d don a Burka even to be less a tourist and more a local!
This is a fascinating interview. I was born in London (England) to Indian parents who emigrated a few years before I was born, so I went to India regularly during my childhood. It was always a strange experience because my perspective was very much a Westerner, I grew up very much as any other Brit, but of course I was also Indian and staying in the heart of my extended family. I loved much of the cultural aspects to India, so much to see and do and experience. But I also felt and still feel negatively about the endemic corruption, about ingrained sexism, about the caste system and the way that poor and disabled people are treated by those who are neither. I have always found the two sides difficult to reconcile. As for the fear aspect, I confess that I would be scared to travel in India as a lone female, though of course one can mitigate many of the risks by sensible and respectful behaviour. Hats off to JD Viharini for her outlook and advice.
You are so fortunate, Kavey, for the experience of your parents and traveling to India regularly. It would be hard for me to travel by myself in my home country too. More so for the company!
My biggest fear in India was getting sick. I was careful but by the end of my 10 days my stomach was not good. I never felt unsafe when I was there. Thanks for sharing on #TheWeeklyPostcard.
Thanks for commenting, Anisa. Sorry to hear about the stomach stress. I find that happens often on longer trips in foreign countries overall.
Very interesting interview, Elaine. JD Viharini is surely a very brave woman if she dared hitchhike around Europe at the age of 18. I would never dare hitchhike anywhere in this world. I agree with her that if you show respect to other people’s culture and dress properly you are less likely to be harassed.
Thanks, Anda, When JD was hitch-hiking it was the thing to do! We know so much more about taking care of ourselves now.